…Leave it alone.
…Leave it alone.
….And what you get.
Warning: This is a sexual post. If discussions about sex offend you please don’t click the “read more”. Continue reading
…And all the times we pay the price.
Someone posted something about how you might feel insignificant in the world but listed the ways in which you are not.
But I don’t think it’s true – and this isn’t a plea for people to tell me it’s true – but I don’t think people think of me when…
I really feel it wouldn’t matter if I just didn’t show up.
Remember to remember.
I’m still out here, somewhere. I’ll write soon.
Too tired to share the thoughts lately.
…But never seeing out again.
With me, everything is “Private” – Private to the point I don’t share when I am in serious need of outside help, understanding or advice. I don’t even share when I’m in pain, because… you guessed it… it’s “private”.
I don’t share readily – the one person I share the most with is my boyfriend and even he feels I’m closed up half the time. He doesn’t press me… He knows I’ll share, eventually… partly. I think he knows I never share completely, and I justify it as ‘reasons’, but really… “private”. He knows how I am. Clearly he’s accepted it. (We don’t share a household. I would have to be far more open in that circumstance because I would have to be.)
As I told him today, one of the reasons I am so ‘closed’ is, his is the only opinion that matters. I don’t want him to know when I have trouble because I don’t want it to alter his opinion of me. I should know better than to think it does, but that’s the way I feel about it.
…All over again.
So, I am sure I haven’t mentioned it because well, basically I’ve been avoiding everything in life since that time, but I had a catastrophic event happen in October 2016 – I was standing in a mall in San Antonio, Texas attempting to use an ATM to buy what turned out to be a horrible breakfast. Seriously, even the coffee was bad; but it seems like it was indicative of what was to come.
… AND then, there are others.
Sometimes, love isn’t enough.
Sometimes, intention falls short.
Don’t judge me by circumstance.
(You’d be deprived)