I didn’t realize it hasn’t been as long as I thought since I last posted. Fact of the matter is, I forgot I even HAVE a blog and I last remember updating in June.
It’s really been a rough several of months. I seem to keep saying that, but perhaps it’s because it keeps being true.
I am finding my self in a condition, in a place, I never imagined I would be in. It’s terrifying to me. I feel that every little thing is final, and indicative of something much larger, however my logical brain knows that can not really be the truth.
I also find it really, universally, unfair – because I never took anything for granted, I never felt myself above anything or anyone else’s circumstances.
I know, also, I can not move forward with that mind set. It isn’t a matter of what is right or fair or even HOW it happened or laying blame; it’s a matter of realizing where you are and making a decision rather you want to be there or not and what you have to do to change it.
So in yoga you learn to release your ego to gain your greater good. I think, sometimes, in our dealings with others, it is ego that gets in the way. Dealing with those who test us, teaches us… or so they say.
Maybe people test us so we can learn what bothers us about ourselves, rather it be a trait we have that we don’t wish to see amplified, or one we *wished* we possessed.
I do call roses “weeds”but not necessarily in a bad way. You see, roses are very hardy, hard to kill and they will grow virtually anywhere, with very little care and sometimes in extraordinary circumstances. However, people love roses and they are considered perhaps the most beautiful of the flowers and stand for romance and friendship and so many other wonderful things. But really, a weed is just any plant growing somewhere it isn’t wanted.
It occurs to me, I have to write here more than once a month. It isn’t for lack of want or things to say… I don’t know why I neglect this, I like this space to share…
I woke up in a pretty persnickety mood this morning. I am blaming the weather (seriously, you think it’s so GREAT to have a 50F/10C+ degree Christmas in this part of the world? Is it your first? What usually follows? If I wanted warm Christmases, I’d move somewhere with them, instead of whining about weather that comes EVERY YEAR where I live – Oh WAIT, half of Texas and NM have blizzard warnings).
I feel rather discontent, truth be told… but then, I am hard on myself and feel my life is pretty great and I don’t have a reason to be so hard on myself…
….Perhaps I should lighten up some? Continue reading →
I have never made it a secret that I am a very grateful person.
I make a point of being very grateful. I keep a gratitude journal and repeat mantras of gratitude throughout the day. I am grateful for all the big things, of course, like the air I breathe, this life I have, waking up today. I am also grateful for all the small thing like a smile from a stranger or my brakes on my car working well, making a stop light, my hair falling just right. It takes nothing to be grateful, but it gives you so much.
One of the other things of which I am so grateful (and so often reminded to be grateful) of is the fact I made it this far in life without being bitter. But then, happiness is a CHOICE (so is being miserable).
Last night, in yoga class, I was reminded of this, and frankly, that’s the last place I should be reminded of it, ever. Continue reading →