The Scariest Things…

..Are those which we hold inside.

I have had a lot of shit happen to me over my life – a lot of (maybe) negative shit that people sometimes say “I can’t believe that happened” – But, the truth is always stranger than fiction. Always.

I generally get over  (“find the good”), I have forgiven a LOT – I have forgiven things that would NEVER be on other people’s radar, ever (nor should they be).  I had a roof stolen.. no, seriously, ACTUALLY, let that sink in… I HAD A ROOF STOLEN – those are word that should ever be spoke, let alone be someone’s reality.
(I am sure, at some point, I did in fact write about this – I am not revisiting it now – if it exists, it’s likely under the ‘forgiveness’ tag) – this is not the current issue…

.. the issue is the thing I might hate you for….

….and I rarely use the term hate, and *never* lightly…

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Yours, Mine And Ours….

…Or, The Fact or Quality of Being Different, Divergent, or Inconsistent.

You know, my friend feed elsewhere on that *other* site is filled with “I’m done with the hate” posts.

No, no you aren’t. Because if you were, you wouldn’t feel the need to tell everyone five times in three days. If you’re done, you are just DONE, you don’t carry on talking about it.

The only way to be done with the hate is to reject it in your own life (and by the way, you can never fully reject prejudice, unless you are somehow reverting back to birth. Even 3 month old babies display it, as does the whole of the animal kingdom. But you CAN change where you find it in your thoughts by choosing to LEARN and evolve your opinions).

The only way to change the world is to change yourself and your mindset, and then effect the little bit of world all around you.

Most of us aren’t going to have a grand impact on the planet, but! We can have a grand influence on the bits we interact with. We CAN be great in our communities and a shining example in the lives of others, thus leading by example.

Saying you’re done with hate but you continue to feed into it by posting memes and stories (all of which are, see above, bias! There is NO such thing as unbiased media), isn’t being done with it.

Just because YOU believe in the side your on in a near militant fashion (which by the way, also a hallmark of hate, not believing the other side could remotely be justified), doesn’t mean you are always 100% correct, or infallible. It just means you’ve likely started to see every like case through your opinion and leave little room for variance.

There’s ALWAYS AT LEAST 3 sides to every story: yours, mine and the truth which lies some where in the middle.

Reject it, reject the media making heroes out of wrong doers, eject the bickering around you about a victim’s personality or blame in the crime… seriously reject that, because if you participate in it, even if you think you are righteous by defending the victim, really what you are doing is perpetuating it all. Perpetuating hate, often misinformation  (on both sides) and the very root of the problem. Look for facts and make up your own mind, spread truth. Seek understanding and choose to spread love… that’s how you really counter hate.

Seriously, Cats and Kittens: Peace.
Can we just play nice?

The Beautiful Weeds…

…Or the places roses grow.

I do call roses “weeds”but not necessarily in a bad way. You see, roses are very hardy, hard to kill and they will grow virtually anywhere, with very little care and sometimes in extraordinary circumstances. However, people love roses and they are considered perhaps the most beautiful of the flowers and stand for romance and friendship and so many other wonderful things. But really, a weed is just any plant growing somewhere it isn’t wanted.

It occurs to me, I have to write here more than once a month. It isn’t for lack of want or things to say… I don’t know why I neglect this, I like this space to share…

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Ironically…

…28 Years Later.

This week, I ended a life long friendship.

Sometimes, we have to end things for self preservation. Sometimes, it takes time to realize a relationship is toxic.

I have been going through a rough time lately and I have not been silent about it. Since I lost my cat, I haven’t been silent about my pain. I WILL tell you when I am “not ok” – as I have said before, I will not just say I am ok for the sake of an other person’s harmony when they post the obligatory are you ok? question. So, if I am not, I will say so. And recently, I have not been.

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The myth of Santa…

…’tis the season.

This is something I originally wrote on the 6th of December, 2004.
It was two months after my father died. I am reposting it because I mentioned having written this and then two separate, other people made reference to it, so perhaps it is worth sharing again.
(of course, it looked prettier in its original posting… I *still* haven’t played with WordPress enough!)

It does seem I always think of my father the most at Christmas, even if I do not wish to.

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I think I’ve said it before…

…but it bears repeating.

Many years ago, someone told me I was unforgiving, that I didn’t forgive people.
That is not true. See, what I now know the issue to be is, HE was upset because I wasn’t blindly accepting his version of reality. I was not conforming to how HE felt I should respond.

I do forgive. I forgive quite readily.
However, I don’t *forget* what was done to me – no, things can not just go back to the way they were. It doesn’t work like that. A transgression had to have happened if there was a need for forgiveness anyway.
When something happens that warrants forgiveness, ideally the parties involved will resolve the situation, grow from it and improve the relationship so it wont happen again. Often, it damages the relationship, just a little bit (sometimes more), and especially when the party seeking forgiveness is prone to repeat the same or similar activities.

Saying I am sorry is not a band-aid to heal emotional hurts. Those words do not possess those magical properties. The person who called me unforgiving wanted forgiveness HIS way, for HIS comfort.

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