It Is In The Silence….

…Or, the place we hear the screams the loudest…
…All the places we hear the screams.

People always say they care…

….And such a phrase is supposed to matter.

However, I’ve noticed the silence more than the shouting (especially when I am the one shouting).

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Slow Yoga And Daddy Issues…

…Or, so-called personal short-comings…

So in yoga you learn to release your ego to gain your greater good. I think, sometimes, in our dealings with others, it is ego that gets in the way. Dealing with those who test us, teaches us… or so they say.

Maybe people test us so we can learn what bothers us about ourselves, rather it be a trait we have that we don’t wish to see amplified, or one we *wished* we possessed.

So, this brings me to the topic of today’s post…

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Officially Unoffical…

…Or, believe it as you will.

I sometimes think my posts are a lot of whining and bitching. Perhaps they are, maybe they are not. The fact of the matter is, I post here because it is anonymous and I post to sort things out in my head. I really don’t care for whining, or carrying on about things past – but sometimes you have to purge, sometimes you have to vent and work through things to be able to let things go.

This is my place to do it…

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Seadragons Move Gracefully Through The Ocean…

…Or, lessons that humans failed to learn.

A few days ago, someone said something to me that crept back into my thoughts today. I mentioned someone who is a friend of that person’s, who used to be a friend of mine. She, (the friend in common), said she thinks the person (former friend) was a victim of spousal abuse, of sorts. I will concede his partner is a bit… perhaps that may be true considering the woman that is his partner.

I thought about this conversation again today. It’s funny what brought it up… I was listening to 80’s music – A obscure female-lead group at that, which made me think of the person in question (the former friend), when the comment the friend in common said about him came to mind.

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Halloween And TV Watching…

…And other horrors.

‘Tis the season of the mask, costume, pretending to be someone other than you.
I don’t get excited for Halloween, but it may be because I have already seen too many masks.

I have been thinking of past relationships, a lot lately. Relationships I have let go of, happily, but the thoughts are returning, unwelcomed.

As I have gotten older, my circle of friends have gotten smaller, much smaller, perhaps even too small. I think I have just had enough.
(I always say “quality over quantity”.)

I have had, indeed, some questionable friends and when I think of some of the things I have allowed to me, they are nearly ridiculous (I literally had a roof stolen from me, by a *friend* – one who I housed and afforded a lifestyle. The theft was my “thank you”, I guess).

Halloween is the night when you get to don a mask and pretend to be someone else for a little while, with the intent, according to the legend of Halloween, of keeping the evil spirits away. But… what happens when the ones you trust, that you’ve let close to you, are the *evil* ones who constantly wear a mask, barely letting you see their real face?
You can take the lesson as something that leaves you less trusting, or you can take it as a learning experience, to be more wise in the future (that is the route I have chosen, and I hope the wisdom of it proves true).

The masks only holds value in so long as you are content to have a superficial view of life – when everything can be social, party, TV, and surface – when no body really looks too deeply.

When you are content to just turn the television on for anesthetization, you become conditioned to crave the drama. Turning the television off forces you to write your own script.

I have been contemplative the last few days. Perhaps it is the illness that has plaqued me for the better part of this month or maybe it’s just because there is nothing good on TV…

There is another consequence of age and sharing…
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The Joy of Going It Alone…

… Or… “Taking a solo road trip.”

I recently posted on a potential upcoming road trip, one that would have me driving back alone. However, now things have happened and that particular trip is now not going to happen.

I, however, got excited about the concept of doing a road trip alone and I thought it would be a great experience.

I actually HAVE taken a solo road trip before. It is funny that for the reasons it came about, it didn’t even occur to me at the time I was, in fact, taking a solo road trip.

In 2011, I drove through Ireland! But for some reason, in my brain, Ireland was easy (even being on the “wrong” side of the road) but the concept of driving the U.S. (or Canada) alone seems so overwhelming and scary. Perhaps because it’s so vast. In Ireland, I had a loose itinerary and set hotel reservations. My destinations were never more than a few hours from each other. I had things to do every day (if I wanted) which was a very good thing as purpose of my trip was to try to distract myself from my broken heart. I took the trip on a total whim, trying to heal my broken heart. My beloved cat had passed and I just wanted to be numb. It didn’t work, and to be honest, because of that, I don’t remember much of the trip.

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Ambient Light…

…And reality defused.

Sometimes we only see things in the dim light of our perception, and it is only when circumstance illuminates a situation that we see it in its glaring *true* light.

This post is probably going to be personal and therefor, probably cryptic. At any rate, I am sure it will also be long.
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